Hump Day.....News & Views

If it's Wednesday.......it must be "Hump Day".

And ......we're following.......the following:



The Lakers are in a fight....

Suns 115, Lakers 106

Gritty Suns Get Off Mat and Tie Series

By HOWARD BECK

Phoenix made 11 3-pointers and controlled the inside to win Game 4 of the Western Conference finals.

A Tiger......comeback?

msnbc.com

Tiger's latest comeback: Memorial Tournament

Chicago Breaking Sports - Tribune - Jeff Shain - ‎27 minutes ago‎

Tiger Woods' balky neck is sufficiently healed to return to competition at next week's Memorial Tournament. Woods confirmed Wednesday that he wil defend his crown at Jack Nicklaus' signature event -- an appearance he rarely misses but ...

Tiger Woods: Woods makes it official: will play Memorial

Memo to pro athletes....."Keep it in your zipper"

News Provider

Silvia Mena Sues Redskins Star Albert Haynesworth

TIME - Chris Gentilviso - ‎1 hour ago‎

The NFL veteran's latest offseason troubles revolve around a paternity problem with an exotic dancer. The New York Post reports that Brooklyn, NY-based Silvia Mena is suing Haynesworth for $10 million.

Silvia Mena Photos Leaked; Haynesworth Being Sued for 10 Million

Happy Trails.......Art Linkletter....

CBC.ca

Veteran TV host Art Linkletter dead at 97

Reuters - Sam Mircovich, Bill Trott - ‎49 minutes ago‎

Television personality Art Linkletter walks through the Hollywood Pictures Backlot at the opening of Disney's California Adventure in Anaheim, California in this February 8, 2001 file photo.

Art Linkletter, TV Host, Dies at 97 New York Times

Brady........rules!!!

Reuters UK

Judge dismisses photographers' lawsuit against Tom Brady, Gisele Bundchen

USA Today - ‎46 minutes ago‎

A New York judge threw out a lawsuit by two photographers who alleged they were attacked in Costa Rica during the wedding of Patriots QB Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen.

NY court dismisses suit against Brady, Bundchen The Associated Press

You think?????

New York Daily News

Bristol Palin: Getting Pregnant at 17 Was "Humiliating"

Us Magazine - ‎1 hour ago‎

"[I was thinking], 'Great, I'm 17 years old, I'm 40 pounds overweight with a big belly on me, all my friends are at school watching this on the news,'" she tells the June issue of Harper's Bazaar.

Finally........from the gulf.......oil and water......just don't mix:

The BP mess....just gets "worser" by the day...

 

 

Cheaper........to Keep Her?

We saw this coming....surely you did too:

Tiger's Wife Hired Lawyer Months Ago

Originally posted May 13th 2010 1:45 PM PDT by TMZ Staff

TMZ has learned Elin Nordegren hired a lawyer to help her with her divorce from Tiger Woods less than a month and a half after Tiger's infamous car accident.



TMZ broke the story Elin hired attorney Walter H. White, Jr., who practices in London.  In an email to his staff dated January 12, 2010, White wrote, "I am writing to advise you that we have been asked by Ms. Nordegren to assist her in better understanding her legal circumstances."  White goes on:  "The firm has assigned a dedicated team to work closely and confidentially with Elin and Josefin in order to fulfill this mandate."

As we first reported, lawyers for both sides are trying to agree on a property settlement and custody agreement before filing divorce papers.

More Tiger Woods

• Tiger Woods' Wife Lawyers Up
• Tiger Lawyers Up with International Custody Guru
• Tiger Divorce -- Get it Done, Keep it Quiet
• Tiger Woods' Wife -- Back in the U.S.A.

 

Honey.......I'm ...Home

Tiger Woods......is going home.   Early.

Having missed the cut line in a tournament in North Carolina.......Mr. Woods will spend this Saturday and Sunday.......at home.

From TMZ.com:

Tiger Woods -- The First Cut is the Deepest

Originally posted Apr 30th 2010 2:03 PM PDT by TMZ Staff

Tiger Woods just concluded one of the worst performances of his professional career -- and was officially eliminated from the Quail Hollow Championship after missing the cut by a mile.



Just to put this in perspective, Tiger went from 1997 to 2005 without missing one single cut in any of the tournaments he played in ... and in 2007, Tiger WON the Quail Hollow tourney.

Why Did I Get Married?....Part 3

Some guys.....were just born to be single.

Tiger Woods .....is one of  "those guys".

A "Ga-Zillionaire".....Number 1 in his sport.......built like a line-backer....

Who needs a wife and kids?

Yankee's  MLB star Derek Jeter  gets it.   Stay single.....date every supermodel.....and be happy.


Tiger dated one supermodel......and married her.


Think he's having second thoughts ....now?

Tiger Woods Backstage -- Say Cheeeeese

Originally posted Apr 22nd 2010 10:15 AM PDT by TMZ Staff

TMZ has obtained a photo of Tiger Woods backstage at the Nickelback concert in Orlando Monday night -- where he partied away without his wife Elin Nordegren.


Decked out in Nike gear and a backstage pass draped around his neck, Woods cracked a huge smile for this photo with the band's stage manager, Donnie Floyd, in a private room ... a room stocked with red solo cups.

We're told Woods attended the show with another male friend. Tiger is reported to be close with Nickelback singer Chad Kroeger.

 

Thursday Headlines

You're Fired!!!   Life as a coach in the NBA is not known for job security:

Sixers fire Jordan as head coach

 

PHILADELPHIA, April 15 (UPI) -- Eddie Jordan, hired to coach the team last May, was fired Thursday by the Philadelphia 76ers. Philadelphia finished its season Wednesday with a loss to Orlando, a decision that left the Sixers with a 27-55 record and tied for 12th in the 15-team NBA Eastern Conference. Only five teams in the league had worse records.



"I just want to play some golf"........

Woods to play at N.C. PGA event

ORLANDO, Fla., April 15 (UPI) -- Tiger Woods, who just ended a lengthy hiatus from competitive golf, said Thursday he would play in a PGA

event in North Carolina and in the U.S. Open.
Woods has committed to playing in the April 29-May 2 Quail Hollow Championship in Charlotte, N.C., and the U.S. Open, the year's second major tournament, in mid-June at Pebble Beach, Calif.
"I'm excited about competing," Woods said on his Web site about Quail Hollow. "It's a wonderful venue and they always have a great field."
As to the U.S. Open at Pebble Beach, Woods set a record with a 15-stroke victory in 2000, the last time the tournament

was as Pebble Beach.
"It's always been one of my favorite courses," said Woods. "I can't wait to go back."
Woods returned to golf last week, finishing tied for a fourth at the Masters. That appearance ended a months-long layoff self-imposed after a series of extramarital affairs became public.


Is there anything else....we might learn.....from Milledgeville, Georgia?

Cop in Roethlisberger Case -- I Quit

Originally posted Apr 15th 2010 2:20 PM PDT by TMZ Staff

The cop who first investigated Ben Roethlisberger for sexual assault has "resigned" in the wake of the release of a police report that shows he may have referred to the accuser as a "f*cking bitch" ... but TMZ has learned the cop didn't really have a choice.



We're told the Milledgeville Police officer -- Sergeant Jerry Blash -- turned in his resignation yesterday. He had been with the force for 8 years.

In the report, investigators claim that on the night of the alleged incident, Blash admitted that after he encountered the accuser, he may have made a comment similar to "this f*cking bitch is drunk" or "this bitch is drunk off her ass accusing Ben of assaulting her."

Investigators also report that on the night of the incident, Blash informed the accuser and her friends that "Roethlisberger has a lot of money" and if the women were to follow through with a police report, they "would be wasting their time."

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Blash was given a lose-lose option -- resign...or be fired.

FYI -- Blash is the same guy who posed for photos with Ben hours before he was approached by the alleged victim outside the Capital City nightclub in Georgia. 

Yes.....there is...

Big Ben's Accuser -- The Bodyguard Set Me Up

Originally posted Apr 15th 2010 12:58 PM PDT by TMZ Staff

Ben Roethlisberger's accuser told police the QB's bodyguard grabbed her by the arm and sat her in a secluded hallway in the Capital City nightclub -- setting the stage for the alleged rape. 



The Milledgeville Police Department released a copy of the accuser's written statement to cops on March 5 -- in which she told police that Ben had been making "crude sexual remarks" to her in the hours before the alleged incident.

In her written statement, the accuser said she and some of her friends had been bar-hopping with Ben and his crew before they ended up at Ben's VIP area at Capital City nightclub.

The accuser says when she arrived to the VIP area, Ben's bodyguard grabbed her by the arm and brought her to a "side door/hallway and sat me on a stool."

The accuser continues,  "[the bodyguard] left and Ben came back with his penis out of his pants. I told him it wasn't OK."

The accuser claims she tried to leave through a nearby door, which turned out to be a restroom. The woman claims she continued to tell Ben that "It was not OK," but he had sex with her anyway.

The woman told cops Ben "then left without saying anything."

Things ....We Learned......From the Week-end

Today......we feel smarter....for we learned a few things...

Holyfield, 47, Wins by Knockout

The 47-year-old former heavyweight champion Evander Holyfield (43-10-2, 28 knockouts) knocked out 41-year-old Frans Botha (47-5-3) of South Africa with 2 minutes 5 seconds left in the eighth round Saturday night in Las Vegas. It was Holyfield’s first fight since Dec. 20, 2008.

Wow.....is Holyfield still fighting?


Baseball is back!  The boys of summer have begun their marathon run.....of fun.   My beloved Atlanta Braves are 3-3.   Thus .....a .500 team.   No more...no less.

Tiger......is .....still ....Tiger.   Stripes don't change....Tiger Woods is ultra competitive.  And after taking 3 months off,  he shoots an 11 under par to place 3rd at the Masters.   And ....he drops a few "f-bombs" along the way.

Phil Michelson .....is a great golfer......and a likable human.   We have new found respect for Phil.  His wife and mother are both fighting breast cancer.   And Phil continues to fight the demons that say he can't win the big ones.   Well,  yesterday.....Mr. Phil.....won the Masters.

This yellowish green dust.......known to us down here as....pollen....is getting on my last nerve.

Spring is nice......don't you think?   75 degrees......clear......no humidity?

I'm smarter.....are you?

Hump Day.....News & Views

It is a ..... postcard perfect spring afternoon in this small southern college town.   This ....is more like it.   70 degrees with lots of sun and no humidity.

Some "stuff" we're following:

There is no justice....in life!   Warren Sapp was embarrassed  and humiliated .....during Super Bowl week....Headlines......all over.   Now this:

Warren Sapp Off the Hook in Battery Case

Posted Mar 24th 2010 9:30AM by TMZ Staff

Former NFL superstar Warren Sapp will not face criminal charges for allegedly beating a woman during Super Bowl weekend in Miami this year.

The Florida State Attorney's Office just announced that "the State cannot file charges ... due to the totality of the evidence and inconsistencies with the victim testimony and the physical evidence gathered during the investigation."

The woman told authorities that Sapp got violent with her in his hotel room on February 6, 2010 because he wanted her to leave. But according to officials, there were many inconsistencies in the alleged victim's story.

Authorities say the woman told investigators that Sapp beat her so badly that she could "barely walk " and needed help from an "anonymous man" to leave the building -- but video surveillance shows she never received any aid from anyone ... and was walking without a limp.

Ultimately, officials decided they could not prove this case beyond a reasonable doubt and "ethically meet our burden."

How about a full page apology?   For ruining this man's life!

Deja Vu   all over again...Have we seen this before?

Doc Gooden Busted for DWI -- with Kid Passenger

Posted Mar 24th 2010 9:48AM by TMZ Staff

Former NY Mets and NY Yankees star pitcher Dwight "Doc" Gooden was arrested in New Jersey yesterday after cops say he got into a car crash while under the influence of drugs -- while there was a kid in his car.

According to officials, 45-year-old Gooden was arrested and charged with multiple crimes including:

-- Driving While Under the Influence of Drugs
-- Being under the Influence of a Controlled Dangerous Substance
-- Endangering the Welfare of a Child
-- DWI with a Child Passenger
-- Leaving the Scene of a Motor Vehicle Accident
-- Reckless Driving
-- Failure to Keep Right
-- Failure to Notify Change of Address regarding driver's license

As first reported on Deadspin.com, cops say they first investigated the situation after receiving a 911 call around 8:50 AM yesterday morning.

Gooden was released on his own recognizance.

Dwight has a storied history of substance abuse -- dating back to his playing days in the late '80s.

Tim Tebow .....better learn to keep his religious beliefs ....to  himself.   These are "grown-ass " men......not college boys.....
 

Report: Tim Tebow’s pre-Wonderlic prayer request falls flat

Football, NFL Draft, Tim Tebow — posted by jeremy fowler on March, 24 2010 3:22 PM

Maybe this is what Tim Tebow had in mind at the Wonderlic testing

When Tebow attempted the prayer before the 12-minute test, a few players laughed and another provided some, well, colorful language. Wonder if Tebow will remember the guy who told him to “shut the (expletive) up.”

The Sentinel left a message with members of Tebow’s camp, including father Bob Tebow, for a response to the story.

It appears Tebow is not shying away from his values, even in the face of NFL skeptics. Tebow has always been outspoken about his faith, even in his high school days.

But, as Pro Football Talk points out, Tebow faces a whole new set of challenges in the NFL.


Hump Day.......short shots:

Why is the  Atlanta media.....trying to run Tech's Paul Hewitt ....out of town?

The health-care  bill passed......And the world did not end.    My .....my.....

The Uconn womens'  basketball team won again,  90-36....Is this fair anymore?

Rumor has it........Tiger Woods wife,  Elin,  is pregnant.   Again.......my.....my...


The NFL.......has changed it's over-time rules.   Sort of....stay tuned....


7-63.........That's the record of the woeful New Jersey Nets.... Pitiful.


3-1..........That's the odds Vegas is laying....that Tiger wins the Masters.


75.......degrees......and I'm loving it.


Have a great  "Hump Day"!

 

Tiger Udate.......A "Master" Plan?

You knew....and I knew....we all knew.

Tiger Woods would never,  ever miss this golf tournament at Augusta National....known as ..."The Masters".

From TMZ.com:

Tiger Woods Will Play the Masters

Posted Mar 16th 2010 11:13AM by TMZ Staff

We knew it. We've been saying it for months ... Tiger Woods just announced he will play at the Masters next month.

Woods released a statement that said: "The Masters is where I won my first major and I view this tournament with great respect. After a long and necessary time away from the game, I feel like I'm ready to start my season at Augusta.

"The major championships have always been a special focus in my career and, as a professional, I think Augusta is where I need to be, even though it's been a while since I last played.

"I have undergone almost two months of inpatient therapy and I am continuing my treatment. Although I'm returning to competition, I still have a lot of work to do in my personal life.

"When I finally got into a position to think about competitive golf again, it became apparent to me that the Masters would be the earliest I could play."

UPDATE: Billy Payne, Chairman of Augusta National Golf Club and the Masters Tournament, tells TMZ, "We support Tiger's decision to return to competitive golf beginning at this year's Masters Tournament. Additionally, we support and encourage his stated commitment to continue the significant work required to rebuild his personal and professional life."

More Tiger Woods

• Tiger Woods -- One Big Happy Family
• Tiger's Ambulance - Domestic Violence Assumed
• Tiger Woods -- Major Clue in Golf Comeback

 

A Tiger Comeback?

Maybe....

Tiger Woods -- Major Clue in Golf Comeback

Posted Mar 12th 2010 8:00AM by TMZ Staff

Tiger Woods has still not announced when he's returning to golf -- but TMZ has learned one upcoming tournament is beginning to make several mysterious arrangements ... arrangements that have Tiger's tracks all over them.



It's all connected to the Tavistock Cup -- an exclusive golf tournament scheduled to begin on March 22nd, which pits the Lake Nona Country Club against the Isleworth Country Club ... where Tiger is a member.

The famously private event is known for allowing fans to get up close and personal with the golfers -- but sources close to the tournament tell us management for the Isleworth Country Club, this year's home course, has suddenly decided to cut down on the number of passes given to Lake Nona employees.

We're told several staff members are being told the move is being orchestrated by Tiger's camp in an effort to control who will have access to the golfer when he makes his return.

We'll see if they're right in t-minus 10 days ...

More Tiger Woods

• PGA Star: Tiger Constantly Changed Phone #
• Tiger Woods -- The First unstaged Golf Photos
• Tiger & Elin -- One Night Under the Same Roof

The Tiger Speech

I didn't......see it live.......but I heard live....on the radio....This thing was huge....every major network carried this.....and all the national news programs led with this story.


Wow!!!


Here's a breakdown......from our friends at TMZ.com:

Tiger Woods: 'I Had Affairs, I Cheated'

Posted Feb 19th 2010 2:34PM by TMZ Staff

Tiger Woods just finished giving his 13-minute, prepared statement (click here for the full transcript). Highlights are below.



-- Tiger described his behavior as "irresponsible and selfish."

-- "I was unfaithful. I had affairs. I cheated."

-- "I have bitterly disappointed all of you ... I am so sorry."

-- "I thought I could get away with anything I wanted to ... I thought I was entitled ... I don't get to play by different rules."

-- "As Elin pointed out to me, my real apology to her will not come in the form of words; it will come from my behavior over time."

-- "I ask you to find room in your heart to one day believe in me again."

-- "I do plan to return to golf one day, but I don't know when that will be."

-- "Starting tomorrow, I will leave for more treatment and more therapy."

-- "Parents used to point to me as a role model for their kids. I owe all those families a special apology."

-- Tiger Woods says he wants to get back to his Buddhist roots.

-- "I have bitterly disappointed all of you ... I am so sorry."

-- About the paparazzi: "Leave my wife and kids alone."

-- Tiger said he has never used performance enhancing drugs.

-- "Elin didn't hit me that night or any other night ... Elin deserves praise, not blame."

-- Tiger apologized to the people who work for him and his foundation.

-- Tiger Woods hugged his mom and went down the line hugging each person in attendance.

-- Among the people in attendance: Tiger Woods' mom, longtime friend Bryon Bell, and PGA Tour commish Tim Finchem.

Tiger Speaks.......Sort of....

A press conference ......with no questions......is just a statement.   What a waste of time.   Tiger should just write it on his web site.

Anyway.......from those .....news hounds.....at TMZ.com:

Tiger Woods To Break Silence At PGA

Posted Feb 17th 2010 2:39PM by TMZ Staff

UPDATE: The following message was just posted on Tiger Woods' official website: "While Tiger feels that what happened is fundamentally a matter between him and his wife, he also recognizes that he has hurt and let down a lot of other people who were close to him. He also let down his fans. He wants to begin the process of making amends, and that's what he's going to discuss."

The PGA Tour's website just posted that Tiger Woods will speak publicly at the PGA Tour Headquarters on Friday at 11:00 AM ET.



The PGA typically announces on Fridays who will play in the following week's tournament.

According to Tiger's agent, Mark Steinberg, Tiger plans to apologize for his behavior and discuss his plans for the future. Woods will be speaking with a small group of his friends and colleagues during the news conference.

Steinberg said no one will be able to ask questions during the news conference. There is a report out that Tiger will read a prepared statement.

And this is interesting ... the news conference will take place during the Accenture Match Play Championship -- one of the sponsors that dropped him in the wake of the sex scandal.

Steinberg said, "This is all about the next step. He's looking forward to it."

Hump Day.....News & Views

The last......."Hump Day"......of 2009.

Do you realize......tomorrow will represent ......an end of a decade?

Stuff........we're following....courtesy of TMZ.com:

Happy 34th Birthday, Tiger Woods!

Posted Dec 30th 2009 10:00AM by TMZ Staff

What do you get the man who had everything?

Power Hour on Dale Earnhardt Jr.!

Posted Dec 30th 2009 2:40PM by TMZ Staff

Dale Earnhardt Jr. was in one hell of a giving mood last night -- dude bought drinks for more than 800 people who walked into his North Carolina bar.

It all went down at the Whisky River bar in Charlotte -- which is owned by the NASCAR stud. We're told Dale decided to pick up the tab for every drink ordered in his place between 8-9pm.

Bartender Shawn Southern -- who was also on VH1's "Tool Academy" -- says the bill was "a ridiculous amount of money" ... but Dale made sure to treat the staff to a "very generous" tip.

See Also

• Jeff Gordon Caught in the "Jr." Section

And then...there are the Atlanta Hawks...... something went wrong.......in that 4th quarter:

Give this 'D' an 'A' -- Cleveland Cavaliers keep rolling with a near-shutout of Atlanta in fourth quarter, 96-85

By Brian Windhorst

December 29, 2009, 11:07PM

Playing rough and often disjointed, the Cavs put on their favorite kind of edgy defensive display in crunch time, overwhelming the Atlanta Hawks for another impressive road victory. Full story »

Texas Tech fires football coach Mike Leach in wake of receiver's allegation

By Associated Press

December 30, 2009, 1:04PM

Texas Tech fired coach Mike Leach on Wednesday, two days after he was suspended by the school as it investigated his treatment of a player with a concussion. Full story »

Have a great "Hump Day"!

 

Rev. Al..........To the Rescue.......But for Who?

From  GaPeach913:

Al is keeping it black!

Al Sharpton Blasts Tiger Woods for Lack of Mistress Diversity The Rev. Al Sharpton held a press conference today to blast Tiger Woods for the lack of diversity among his mistresses. Sharpton claims that the lack of African-American women among Woods’ harem will have a negative affect on the black community, specifically young black girls. “Why is it that a man who calls himself black can’t bring himself to cheat on his wife with a black woman?” said Sharpton, speaking to a group of supporters in Harlem. “What does it say to young black girls everywhere when you pass them over? Shame on you, Tiger Woods. What would your daddy say?” Sharpton, who has long championed taking black women as mistresses, said that today’s black athletes need to stop neglecting black women when it comes to extramarital affairs, and should follow the examples of positive black role models such as Jesse Jackson and Martin Luther King, Jr., both of whom cheated on their wives with black women. Sharpton also stressed that cheating with African-American women would help the black community financially by giving black girls the chance to sell their stories to tabloids and gossip magazines. Added Sharpton, “I’m not asking you to not cheat on your wives, I’m just asking you to give back to your own community.”

Things From the Week-end.......

It has been......(with all due respect for the man himself.....Brook Benton)


Raining for seemingly days.....in this small, southern, college town.   And foggy too.  The drought of 2008....is a distant memory.  I saw frogs......hopping along the highways.

Anyway......from the week-end:

The Atlanta Hawks.......have won 4 in a row.

The Atlanta Falcons.....have lost 6 of their last 8.

The best thing......I saw?   The Philadelphia- New York game......45-38!

The worst?    The Army-Navy game......3-0....at the half.

Congratulations........Mark Ingram......Heisman Trophy winner.......

Kudos........to the University of Kansas.......for hiring Turner Gill  (a black coach) to lead its football team.

Happy Trails.......Tiger Woods......taking an indefinite leave of absence......

Have the jokes........stopped........yet?

Hope you & yours.......had a great week-end.

Things ....We Learned......From the Week-end

 Breaking News....

TV's "As The World Turns" gets axe after 54 years

That show......is older than me!

But......on with......what we learned:


Yes........it is a day late.....

But....Tuesday is good.   For it gives us an extra day to reflect......upon the week-end that was.

And.....what a week-end!    SEC football,  the NFL, the NBA,  Tiger Woods.......

Did we say,  "Tiger Woods"?   Sorry......this post....from here on out....will be ......."Tiger  free". 


Today......we're smarter......because we learned:

The Atlanta Falcons....laid an egg.....lost at home....and got embarrassed by Michael Vick and the Philadelphia Eagles,  34-7......in a game that was not even that close.    Now the Birds can look forward to hosting the 12-0 New Orleans Saints......Can you say,  56-3.....Saints?   It will be ugly.


It really felt .........real good.....to see Tim Tebow and the Florida Gators.....humbled by Alabama.   Final score was 32-13........and that was not even close to the real beat down the "Tide" gave Florida.

Defending Super Bowl Champion....Pittsburgh ........has lost 4 in a row.   What's up?

New England .......lost again .....in Miami.    What gives?

Are the.....12-0 Colts.......on a collision course.......with the 12-0 Saints?

Georgia Tech and Clemson......played a very entertaining game in the ACC Championship.   And ESPN did a great job of not showing the thousands of upper deck empty seats.

How many ........shopping days?

Welcome back.........Mr. Iverson.......you scored 11 points last night....and the Sixers' still lost by 10.

So.......are you any smarter?    We tried.

 

SNL ....Gets into........."Tiger-gate"

You just ......had to know .....this was coming.

From the crew at Saturday Night Live.......and Hulu.com:

Stand by Your Man.......PGA Style......

This is just....plain old...mean!

But it is quite funny...

From GaPeach913:

And now.....the "Tiger jokes" circulating the net:

What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Elin found out he’s not a Tiger, he’s a Cheetah.

Tiger just hates it when he drives, and then his balls hit a tree. 

Elin Nordegren got hired today as a consultant. She’s teaching Phil Mickelson how to beat Tiger. 

Tiger’s confused. Every other time he made a hole-in-one, everyone was all happy about it.

Tiger said the fault of the accident was his Escalade. It’s typical of a golfer—always blame the caddy. 

Tiger’s car still runs, but it goes “putt, putt, putt…”

What do baby seals and Tiger Woods have in common? Both were clubbed by a Scandanavian.

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one

Tiger Woods is tree under.

What was Elin Nordegren doing at 2:30 in the morning? She was clubbing.

Tiger Woods has been dropped by Gilette after admitting this incident was his closest shave ever.   


And the jokes just....keep going...and going...and going..